Do you remember Wolfie's jaguar I drove from the dealership many years ago because he wasn't available to pick it up? You will never guess where that motor is now. I thought it was long gone but he sold it to his neighbour at the time, Captain Jack!
When the captain got new plates for it, he got plates that went along with his profession of Captain Jack impersonator. I won't reveal them (as I don't advertise on the blog) but they have to do with the ship the Black Pearl. The only thing I will give away be that his Maine plates have a light house on them to boot and I thought that pretty cool. Anyway, the Captain thought they were fun plates and I assume he has many stories to tell if he was dressed as the Captain and driving the car with the Pearl plates on it. AND, because he left his car at my abode and told us to use it if we liked, I now have a couple of stories to tell too.
To the beginning of how I got the car in the first place. The Captain had an engagement, a normal engagement. He was to host his friend's early retirement party dressed in regular clothes without the Captain Jack persona which I am sure made an appearance at the party in voice form and jokes. Because he was driving down with a friend to the Lowell Lawrence area, he did not want to take the Jag. His friend who lives on the Massachusetts border offered to drive instead, but he lives in Concord, Mass. and that is out of the way for the Captain, so they made arrangements to leave the car safely with me, being the in-between route convenient to both of them.
When the Captain arrived dressed like a modern person, I almost didn't recognise him. But me kiddos were convinced Johnny Depp was in out yard because that's who he looks like normally. SO he was kind enough to put the Captain persona on and entertain the kiddos and at the same time hand me his car keys and tell me if I had need of the "Pearl's services, just hoist her sails and go mate."
I assured him the Pearl was in safe harbour and I wouldn't need her but it was nice of him to offer. The friend had meanwhile pulled up the driveway (YES I HAVE ONE AT LONG LAST) and off they went leaving the Pearl parked gleaming in the driveway. On the back window of the Pearl there is a decal of a pirate ship and the boyos were all about it.
Here take a look:
|Yar Captian! Who does that? Puts a decal on a Jaguar?|
It was around 1:30 when me wife took me Saturn to go shopping (her VW in the shop). Me Mam was in the kitchen making Irish shortbread when she ran out of caster sugar and some secret ingredient she would not tell me what. She does that. So I offered to run to the store to get her what she needed but because of the secret ingredient she informed me only she could go. The only car we had was -- you guessed it -- the Pearl.
"Now Mam," I said holding up the keys, "ye moost take a care this be THE Pearl and not me motor."
"Oh give me the keys!" She swiped them from me. "Of course I will take a caution, I know wot kind of motor dat is. Pearl me foot."
And off she went saying to me as she began pulling out, "A sailin' I be goin'". I really had no concerns she'd be careful, because unlike the Dragon-in-law me Mam can see.
So off she went, delicately and slowly down the DRIVEWAY (I love I can write that) and out of sight as the wee ones saluted her with their pirate swords.
When she returned she was laughing. I thought that odd, so I took her sack of groceries and followed her inside completely forgetting to peek in the sack to see what the secret ingredient was.
"What are ye laughin' at?" I asked.
"Oh Gabriel, it be a fun ting drivin' dat motor it be." She said unpacking and her Irish accent getting thick. "I wus standin' at the checkout and I luked oot da window and the motor wus parked directly in me view. Dere wus a ten year old boy and his Da pointing at the plates and da kiddo wus animated and worse, his Da wus all excited. I wus tinkin' uh oh, dey tink Captain Jack be goin' to coom oot and drive da motor. Wot a surprise ta see soom old lady gettin' inta it. I jus couldna do it ta em'. So, I waited in the doorway fur em' ta coom inside befur I went oot." She explained between giggles.
In all her concern about breaking the spell for the lad and his Da, she hadn't noticed the secret ingredient was missing.
"Ooh dey didn't pack it." Says she.
I offered to go get it just to have a whirl in the Jag. She gave me an "I doon knoo."
"Ah come on Ma, I promise not to give up the secret ingredient to anyone. Just be our secret." I promised.
"Welll . . . ok den. Git da green sprinkles, da sugar crystals."
"Green sprinkles? THATS the secret ingredient?"
It was so off taking the Pearl for a sail I was. I went feeling like a rich guy driving that vehicle. I was wondering if I looked like anyone famous that I could impersonate them and be able to afford a Jaguar, or a BMW, or a Mercedes even. But no, me face is me face so I told meself in the mirror to get over it and enjoy the ride while I could.
I forgot all about looking to see if anyone was admiring the Pearl when I came out of the grocery store. I was oblivious wondering how many appearances it took to afford a high class motor. But then I realised the car was not the Captain's originally it was the Wolf's. I knew how he could afford it and probably ten others, and was wondering why HE would buy a sporty Jag and not a Lamborghini. But then he has kiddos too, so yeah you can't take but one person with you in a Lamborghini. Oh well.
As I made me way gently on the back roads to me neck of the woods, I was just twenty yards from me DRIVEWAY entrance when I see about thirty bikers come from the other direction. I couldn't make me turn until they passed unless I gunned it and I wasn't about to risk the Pearl (not that I didn't think it would make it, it would but for the gravel hitting the sides). So I stopped with blinker on and waved them by.
The leader of the biker group, I large suntanned and shirtless individual, except for a leather biker vest pointed to me license plate and said something over his shoulder to the bunch behind them. They all looked and every single one raised their fist in salute as they passed by shouting "HAR!"
It took me by total surprised and I laughed so hard I almost choked meself. I have to sit down with the Captain one day and ask him what happens when HE be at the wheel dressed in costume. Must be a hoot.
Tonya, after hearing me Mam and my story told me to ask the Captain to lend me the Pearl for Halloween I could get away dressed up as Captain Jack and ride around to find out just what it must be like to sail the Pearl and look the part.
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