Comic Con came and went, but I need to tell you this story because I think it is up your alley and while we are on a Weasil rant, we might as well take it to the extreme.
I am not a comic book fan, never was, never will be, but we know who is. Yes we do, and there are two of them, one be Mr Kincaid, but the biggest fanatic is the Weasil. I didn't tell you about this because I have been somewhat embarrassed about it, but hell here goes.
I was invited and I use that word loosely by the Weasil/Kincaid conglomerate of comic book addicts to "taggy along" to a Massachusetts Comic Con. I declined but it did not matter they showed up at me door anyway and dragged me into that red speed bucket and transported me arse to Comic Con East. May I say I was not dressed for the occasion? No, not when compared to Kincaid sporting a rather large storm trooper suit and the other one dressed as Luke Skywalker.
May I also inform you that the Star Wars exhibit was crowded as you might imagine it would be, so the two impatient characters I was with decided to do Star Trek instead. Never mind they weren't dressed "appropriately" that did not matter, they saw a chink in the line, actually in the curtain housing the Star Trek exhibit and under it they went pulling me along. Well space cadets it was quite the experience.
There we stood on the upper deck of the Starship Enterprise with Star Trek characters turned toward us in surprise that two Star War's characters and one civilian would invade the "set."
All was quiet and then Weasil hitting Kincaid on the arm took out his laser wand.
Assuming a Luke Skywalker stance with wand at the ready he said, "Checking fire wand, ready trooper?" Weasil stood with wand in full red light with sound effects, glowing at his ready to do combat while Kincaid looked dumbly on along with THIS GUY.
"Ready to fire ONE," Kincaid shouts stepping forward with some kind of ray gun.
Everyone including meself stood shock still not a sound. I was then pushed forward and the two miscreants nodded at me to say something.
"Uh . . . setting quadrant sights on ENTERPRISE!" Yes, I didn't know what to say and THAT came out me mouth and a gasp came from the trekkies looking up at us.
Suddenly there were the clicks of many weapons being aimed in our direction, mine in particular. Feeling very self conscious like I said the wrong thing, I blustered out to no one in particular, "Anyone not part of this want to join a Star Trek SIM group?"
No response, nothing, just total silence the room's focus on us along with the weapons.
"Checking on target to the ready," Kincaid shouted, taking the safety off his ray gun. "Shoots at Borg lover!" and the gun made these ray gun sounds and then he said, "Die Borg lover!"
I had no clue.
Then someone below mock hit the deck as though ray gunned down and another shouted, "Borgs are cool! Pulling out MILLS LAUNCHER!"
Weasil stepped forward as he ducked something that actually shot out at him from the Mills Launcher, "Thinkin' out loudy --HUM that iz Picard," then pointing his laser wand at the fellow with the Mills Launcher, he said, "I knowz who ya are, yer Picard the bald headed Peanut Man!" With that he pointed his wand like it could throw lasers at the so-called Picard, "takie dattie dere!"
Picard looked down at his chest and slowly melted to the floor dead!
Weasil feeling the power said, "I iz smilin' wit evil intentions cuz I think of Captain Kirk . . . " but he didn't get to finish his sentence because someone popped up from behind the captains chair and aimed at the Weasil. They stood eyeing each other both pointing weapons at the other.
"You mild mannered Zoroid, ahem, Hemorrhoid I mean," Weasil began but again didn't get to finish.
"Die!" The Zoroid or Hemorrhoid shouted.
But Weasil dived and did a barrel roll as he whacked his wand with a SWOOSHHH at the Hemorrhoid or Zoroid, or whatever he was and the Zoroid went down.
"Give order FIRE TWO!" I heard Kincaid shout as he aimed his ray gun at a Klingon who happened to innocently enter the room. The Klingon saw him and immediately dove for cover, but the whole room fired at him!
"Both of them gone now fire THREE AND FOUR!" A voice shouted from a woman who had a name tag that said Your Whore AHHHH. I dunno.
"The Klingon empire rules!" The hiding Klingon shouted.
Immediately all weapons were aimed at him and there were swoosh, boom, bang, zing, all kinds of alien sounds emanating in the Klingon's direction from all sorts of odd weapons that lit up. I tell ya it was a virtual light show!
When everything settled down there was a moment of silence, but then from behind the step where the Klingon was hiding he got to his feet and dove at me! The Klingon's voice rang out loud, "Yay the Klingon Empire STILL RULES! This will teach you to mess with a Klingon Warrior!" And before I knew it he had me in his arms with a strange corkscrew weapon pointed at me big toe. Another barrage of sounds fired off in his direction and mine! He threw me from him to get better aim with the corkscrew like device that lit up all colours of the rainbow and made a hissing sound as the light emanated out from it in the direction of the general population.
While all this was going on, Luke Skywalker aka the Weasil had stealthily made his way around and behind Mr. Klingon. With the silence of cat he crept up behind the man and gently laid his laser wand tip on his shoulder. "Yer dead." Weasil said and the Klingon collapsed in a heap when the wand made that zinging noise.
Sheathing his laser, the Weasil turned to the stunned Trekkies and said, "I take me leavie now." And with that he started up the stairs while an alert Kincaid covered the startled Trekkies with his ray gun.
"I am satisfied," Kincaid said to no one in particular.
But it wasn't over, a Klingon who had been standing in the shadows came out and kneed the Weasil in the nuts. He then pulled out double-edge sabres which lit up. I'd never seen the like before. I watched fascinated as he bent down as if to sever the nuts from the Weasil, but he wasn't thinking of that gnarly Kincaid who stuck the end of his ray gun against the Klingon head.
"Ignites him and he's gone!" Kincaid said pulling the trigger and over tumbled the Klingon.
Weasil, no worse for wear, but quite a bit bent over said, "I had on me protective gear," as he got up and did a "Mahaawwaaaaa" at the defeated Trekkies. Kincaid stated to the assembly, "Clean up on step three, Klingon blood everywhere." Then he noticed Picard bleeding out on the floor, so he pointed and shouted, "KLINGON FEEDING FRENZY!" We went out the door like a herd of wildebeests just as six or seven Klingons came running in.
I had had enough, I walked out after the Weasil, leaving Kincaid staring back at the realistic gore. I mean really? Grown men and women, dressed up like TV characters and acting like it was all real. I was in Alice's Wonderland on another planet! I will say this, Weasil has had me in many strange and bizarre situations, but this one took the cake.
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