It was a long night, a night that seemed to go on forever. If they gave people the day off to vote it might have been a shorter night, but the folks in Hudson and Merrimack were so many they had to keep the polls opened longer. I do wonder that the Clinton people begging the State House to keep the polls open in Merrimack was a wise idea. Something tells me those where all Sanders voters waiting to get to the polls. Gulp.
As you know, it was primary time in New Hampshire. That means the craziness explodes in road signs, yard signs, people with signs at traffic lights, big rock star-like buses whizzing by with candidates names and slogans, diners full of media, town dumps alive with candidates pressing the flesh, and town halls full to the brim! Yes, but this year because of Trump and Sanders there was more interest and excitement than usual. The usual craziness got downright bizarre at times and politically correct? What's that mean? That term went right out the window this time round. It was say anything, think it out loud and anything goes don't worry about it.
Oh yeah, the circus came to down and it was bigger than usual this year. There were candidates I had never heard of, those guys on the fringe and me Mam was one of them. She was running for a while until someone pointed out she was born in Ireland and wasn't eligible. Bummer for Mam let me tell you, we have a basement full of Elect Mam signs.
It was the year of the woman, if you are a woman and not voting for Hillary than maybe you should be voting for Carly or the alternative (as Madaline Allbright said) is end up in hell! If you are a vulgar man or woman do get in the front row of a Trump rally and call the opposing candidates any vulgar tag you can and you can be sure the candidate on stage will repeat it for everyone in the world to hear. If you are a candidate and find a way to eliminate another candidate and your name is Cruz or Christie, then by all means go for it on stage in front of an international audience, with your target standing next to you, it works no matter what network is broadcasting you, because if they should not dwell on your onstage strategy CNN will certainly pick it up and talk about it for weeks!
If you are a candidate and happen to repeat your scripted line over and over that will be pointed out to anyone who will listen that you are wet behind the ears and would make a great stage actor. You missed your calling Senator Rubio. With your memory and looks, sheesh, Academy Award easily.
But wait, lets get those wives out in front. If you want to play down you're being Jewish, bring out the Irish American wife before you say anything and introduce her to the crowd by her Irish American name and all the religious stuff is forgotten. OR, if you just want to scare people there is the first lady of New Jersey when she smiles. OR, if you happen to look like a movie star and happen to have married a cheerleader -- don't hide her, bring her out to show how successful you are in the wife department. OR, if you happen to be a millionaire and have a beautiful foreign wife, don't let her say anything like, "You people need to vote for dat mon my husbond so I can get into little Vhite House and paint it vit gilt and remove dat portrait of George Vashington and replace it vit a real painting -- a Picasso!"
I know I am being a horrible person, but you know what? I be sick to the back teeth. I was so glad the voting was over, I was so glad they were all leaving last night or today. I know this isn't over, I know they will be back. They will find me, plant signs in me yard, sticker me car, stick brochures in me door, flood me mailbox with campaign junk, take me favourite diner booth, and waylay me at the town dump to shake me hand and ask me to vote for them. I will not be able to get through a traffic light for the campaign volunteers waving signs at me so I can't see and probably have an accident which will bring the media and more exposure for their man or woman.
I will be subject to commercial after commercial of each one of them disparaging the other and expounding what is wrong with me health care. How about that student loan Gabe? Well, Gabe doesn't have one thank you very much.
How about building up the military Gabe? I have two dogs thank you don't need a military. NO Gabe, THE military not ADT. Oh!
Hey Gabe, taxes too high? Vote for Bernie and feel the Bern. Oh I do feel the Bern. Believe me each time I open me tax bill and you know what Sanders people? I don't want to lose what money I have left to socialist causes, done that, been there, got the UK t-shirt.
Hey Gabe, you need to be mindful that the Mexicans are illegal in New Hampshire and we need to build a wall at the Massachusetts border. Mr. Trump, I know one Mexican American and she isn't illegal and she doesn't live in New Hampshire!
Hey Gabe, you think Senator Rubio's ears are a little too long for his head? Senator Cruz I don't notice things like that. Ask me wife that question.
I know I be mad, letting off steam. Too long a night for the outcome I thought it would be. Want to not see another debate, another campaign bus, another campaign volunteer at me door, want it all gone. I know those damn road signs will not move until a candidate drops out. So bye bye Christie and Carly. Jeb, Trump, Sanders, Hillary, Cruz, Kasich, Rubio and Ben well sooner or later you too will begin to disappear UNTIL the candidates are selected at the conventions and then it starts all over again! But at least it won't be like Primary Time In New Hampshire. That is unique and a nightmare.
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