Who invented the dishwasher? It had to be a woman! I just know it.
Here's the problem (such as it is) -- I, me, man of the house, decided to help with the dishes. The womenfolk were in the living room after dinner last night, looking at a watercolour painting young O'Hare had done at school. Now this painting was put on the wall at school because teacher thought it was the very best in the class, so of course, the kiddo was hot to show it off. Now, I had seen the painting earlier as I was off and picked the youngin's up from school. So for me to be back admiring it (which I did put in a quick appearance) was not necessary to be exposed to me Mam asking all kinds of artistic technique questions, with the wife in there adding to it!
My God it was a kids watercolour for heavens sakes! It's not like O'Hare be the next Picasso. Geez.
SO, I decided to be a good Do-Bee and clean up the dinner dishes and put the leftovers away. Now mind you the two women of the house were quite a bit aware of me efforts and so decided to prolong me labours by staying in the living room admiring the piece of art that will probably be framed and hung over the fireplace. Uh huh it certainly sounded that way from all the attention it was getting.
Well, let me tell you ladies, never again! I put the leftovers in the proper Tupperware containers, yes I did. I put the crusted pans in the sink with a dab of Dawn Dishwasher liquid to loosen the crust up AND I started to put the silverware in the dishwasher. Now ladies I truly do NOT see why every single spoon has to be in different slots in the door where the flatware goes. Truly I do NOT. I put them in one compartment for easy putting away. THAT was me logic.
Secondly, after I rinsed the crust off the pans I put them in the top wash bin of the dishwasher because they were practically clean and I did not see they needed a heavy duty cleaning by being on the bottom wash bin of the dishwasher. The plates, and cups and saucers were grimy with food and no I did not rinse them -- I mean what is a dishwasher for? To wash the dishes! Come on! So I put them in the bottom where the jets are to make sure that grime was washed away.
Lastly, I put the dogs dishes in with them because, well the dog needs sanitised and clean bowls too, don't ya think?
OK so I am ready to wash. I get the Cascade packet, put it in the little slot, close it and as I go to push the rolling wash bins in, me Mam comes rushing in waving her hands in the air like there be a fire and shouting, "NO, NO, NO!"
What the sharp eyed Irish woman saw WAS the dog dishes and she quickly took them out and threw them in the sink telling me not to wash animal bowls with people stuff. REALLY MA?
I explained the dishwasher had a sani cycle so what was the problem?
While I was questioning her logic she was looking at the flatware and asked me who taught me to load a dishwasher?
"You did." I said smugly and for that she swatted me like I was ten!
"NEVER! Gabriel Aloysius O'Sullivan. You lie like a rug ye do! I never told ye to do sooch a ting as dat, NEVER. Da spoons will all spoon together so the front of the first one will be clean and the back of the last one will be clean but all the ones in-between will be durty!"
So to please her and mumbling about silly and stupid dishwasher rules, I took out every single bit of flatware. She in turn took each one and placed a fork and a spoon together and there a knife and here a knife.
"Satisfied?" I asked ready to close the thing up to start it.
"No, now wooldya lookit dat." She said pointing to the bottom shelf. "Pots and pans on da bottom and plates and coups on da top. Jaysus, Maree and Yoseph!"
"What difference does it make?" I shouted in utter, complete male frustration. It made no sense to me, NONE.
"Ye want to get da cooukin' pots really clean an dey take more water force, da coups and saucers will all break from da force of a dat jets! Ye'll end oop wit broken crockery ya dolt!"
"I do it all the time and never a broken anything." I fired back but she pushed me, yes, she shoved me out of the way and rearranged the whole thing. I tell ya! Women!
That was it, I walked away and passed the smiling wife who looked like she had sympathy for me, but I betcha she didn't really, was a show she was putting on. She was probably thinking, "Good, show that man a thing or two Momma O'."
|Yeah that's right I put in the dog bowls and cat bowls with the one single glass at the top! I got me revenge.|
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