27 April 2014
738
R. Linda:
When the children left for spring break in Florida, our Red and White Irish Setter missed them more than I would have guessed. She's been moping around with a hangdog expression on her mug and the sounds of doggy sighing are pathetic.
As you know the in-laws took the young ones to Disney World and not without a warning to not walk under the gondolas mind you, and it has been an adjustment for me and their mother. At first, we were beside ourselves with glee that we would have only baby and all the freedom and QUIET for an entire week! Yes, stupid us we actually thought that. But as it turned out we didn't know what to do with all that freedom and quiet. We sat around sighing as well, looking at each other in question as to what should we be doing since we had the time to ourselves to do whatever we usually can't do with two young kiddos around.
Neither of us thought this temporary situation would stress out the dog. No, we didn't give the dog a thought. And we should have, because three days in, being off her kibbles, laying around like she was a hundred years old and on her last legs, she wandered into our bedroom and there in front of me, took a leak on our unmade bed. Yes, she did!
She held us responsible for the disappearance of her cohorts in play and the piddling on the bed was our just desserts. I tell ya!
I yelled at her and came after her with a rolled-up t-shirt but she didn't move, just continued the wet trail as she walked bowlegged off the bed which was ruined. Tonya came in with baby as the dog went out with her tail between her legs, head down, knowing she had been BAD. I told Ton what occurred and she was way upset. Oh yeah, she was, as would anyone be.
"That was an expensive pillow top mattress! Oh my God, why did she do that, she's never done that in the house. Do you think there is something wrong with her?" This flooded out of the wife trying to understand the dog and at the same time bemoaning the mattress.
There I stood thinking the wee ones get a free trip to Disney World and da and mam are out buying a pricey mattress to replace the one the spiteful dog peed on. Oi!
Well, the wife got the rug steam cleaner and used that on the mattress but it was no use. I told her not to waste her time, we'd go out and buy another mattress and a kiddie gate to keep the stupid hound from the bedroom. Note here, if we close the door to the bedroom it gets really cold in there, so a gate was the only recourse.
I bought the mattress on Wednesday and they delivered it the next day. I had gone to work so Tonya was left with baby to wait for the mattress delivery. The two burly guys were happy sorts she said and were very accommodating as to setting up the new mattress. The box springs were fine and untouched by doggy urine, so all they had to do was flip off the old mattress and put on the new one. Only one thing Tonya forgot. We sleep with HER handgun between the mattress and box spring so when they flipped the old mattress up and off there was the gun and clip. Tonya right away picked both items up and was standing there as the two men froze.
Without thinking she said, "You will take that old mattress out and dispose of it won't you?" And while she said this she was unconsciously waving the pistol around.
"Oh sure, sure, anything you want," the men said together and strangely to her, acting nervous. Now why would that be do you think?
So all was done to her satisfaction and off they went without a tip. She tried to tip them but they didn't want the money, they just wanted to be gone before the swamp yankee wife decided to hold them at pistol point and order them to rearrange the bedroom furniture. Tonya could not for the life of her understand what their problem was. I arrived home as the deliverymen were running for their truck. I thought that odd, but didn't give it much thought until I walked into our bedroom and the wife was animated waving the pistol all over the place as she told me how easy and FAST the mattress delivery was.
I had to step back as well and inform her she needed to put the gun away. This she did by shoving it between the mattress and box springs when she realised the problem. Yup, it dawned on her that she probably looked like Annie Oakley to the two delivery guys and that's what prompted the speedy setup and retreat.
Only me wife! I tell ya.
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
When the children left for spring break in Florida, our Red and White Irish Setter missed them more than I would have guessed. She's been moping around with a hangdog expression on her mug and the sounds of doggy sighing are pathetic.
As you know the in-laws took the young ones to Disney World and not without a warning to not walk under the gondolas mind you, and it has been an adjustment for me and their mother. At first, we were beside ourselves with glee that we would have only baby and all the freedom and QUIET for an entire week! Yes, stupid us we actually thought that. But as it turned out we didn't know what to do with all that freedom and quiet. We sat around sighing as well, looking at each other in question as to what should we be doing since we had the time to ourselves to do whatever we usually can't do with two young kiddos around.
Neither of us thought this temporary situation would stress out the dog. No, we didn't give the dog a thought. And we should have, because three days in, being off her kibbles, laying around like she was a hundred years old and on her last legs, she wandered into our bedroom and there in front of me, took a leak on our unmade bed. Yes, she did!
She held us responsible for the disappearance of her cohorts in play and the piddling on the bed was our just desserts. I tell ya!
I yelled at her and came after her with a rolled-up t-shirt but she didn't move, just continued the wet trail as she walked bowlegged off the bed which was ruined. Tonya came in with baby as the dog went out with her tail between her legs, head down, knowing she had been BAD. I told Ton what occurred and she was way upset. Oh yeah, she was, as would anyone be.
"That was an expensive pillow top mattress! Oh my God, why did she do that, she's never done that in the house. Do you think there is something wrong with her?" This flooded out of the wife trying to understand the dog and at the same time bemoaning the mattress.
There I stood thinking the wee ones get a free trip to Disney World and da and mam are out buying a pricey mattress to replace the one the spiteful dog peed on. Oi!
Well, the wife got the rug steam cleaner and used that on the mattress but it was no use. I told her not to waste her time, we'd go out and buy another mattress and a kiddie gate to keep the stupid hound from the bedroom. Note here, if we close the door to the bedroom it gets really cold in there, so a gate was the only recourse.
I bought the mattress on Wednesday and they delivered it the next day. I had gone to work so Tonya was left with baby to wait for the mattress delivery. The two burly guys were happy sorts she said and were very accommodating as to setting up the new mattress. The box springs were fine and untouched by doggy urine, so all they had to do was flip off the old mattress and put on the new one. Only one thing Tonya forgot. We sleep with HER handgun between the mattress and box spring so when they flipped the old mattress up and off there was the gun and clip. Tonya right away picked both items up and was standing there as the two men froze.
Without thinking she said, "You will take that old mattress out and dispose of it won't you?" And while she said this she was unconsciously waving the pistol around.
"Oh sure, sure, anything you want," the men said together and strangely to her, acting nervous. Now why would that be do you think?
So all was done to her satisfaction and off they went without a tip. She tried to tip them but they didn't want the money, they just wanted to be gone before the swamp yankee wife decided to hold them at pistol point and order them to rearrange the bedroom furniture. Tonya could not for the life of her understand what their problem was. I arrived home as the deliverymen were running for their truck. I thought that odd, but didn't give it much thought until I walked into our bedroom and the wife was animated waving the pistol all over the place as she told me how easy and FAST the mattress delivery was.
I had to step back as well and inform her she needed to put the gun away. This she did by shoving it between the mattress and box springs when she realised the problem. Yup, it dawned on her that she probably looked like Annie Oakley to the two delivery guys and that's what prompted the speedy setup and retreat.
Only me wife! I tell ya.
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
10 comments:
ROFLMAO
I said to myself Annie Oakley but after reading on, I was thinking of Bonnie and where's Clyde?LOL It a wonder she didn't get the mattress for free! but a GUN? SERIOUSLY? Maybe a gun safe would be safer? a locked one?
forgot dog has got to have a room of his own!LOL
dog should have a room of his own! get even and pee on his bed!LOL
I have said that meself but she insists she would not have time to unlock, load and then confront an intruder. We are talking Jersey girl here. Grew up in unsafe New Jersey and has moved to the unpopulated state of New Hampshire and still doesn't get it.
No she doesn't. She has the run of the house, but unfortunately she had that accident or maybe (as I think) she did it on purpose to display her anger at me for having no kiddos to play with. Sigh.
Redundancy at its best Muse, LMAO
LMAO OOPS! Too many trips to the blog!
Or to the bar, LOL.
guns should be locked up!
Lookie at it dssy way Fioner, if it were capt Jaack's house it wood have been a canon between da mattress hehee.
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