09 August 2014
748
R. Linda:
Today takes the cake and beats all. Because the day is nice here we decided to have an early lunch outside. I never thought we'd have a short invasion of sorts, but we did. I never thought my nicely planned lunch would go awry but something nice did come out of it.
We have this old glass top table and Tonya and me Mam set it all up nice with home-brewed iced tea with fresh mint from our garden, lovely old plates me Mam brought over from Ireland (Belleek) and crisp lavender napkins she made into what looked like tulips.
Now, invited for lunch was an old friend of mine who lives in Harrisville, N.H. a very picturesque spot. He and I worked together when I first came to work in Boston and so our relationship has lasted. He's an older gent (me Mam's age - and no don't get the matchmaking thing going) and I thought she'd like to have a conversation (for a change) with someone closer in age than me three boyos, and Tonya and meself.
She was all fine about this, and like you, she didn't want any "o' dat matchmakin' goin' on." My friend Lawrence arrived and he was dressed in all creamy white. He had on a fine pair of trousers that matched the vest (with gold chain and watch) against the white and narrow blue pinstripes in his shirt, rolled up mid-forearm. To top it off he had a straw Panama hat that made him look (as Tonya said) like Big Daddy. His ruddy face was filled with smiles, his blue eyes twinkled and retirement had done him a good turn. He is a very happy man in that he now has the time to write that great American novel he's talked about for so long.
Mam went all shy at such a "distinguished gentleman" but he soon pulled her out of her shell, thanks in part to our uninvited guest.
We had a fabulous lunch of young cress topping Angus burgers with a white mushroom sauce, homemade crisps, a Greek salad (to die for), and for dessert an assortment of our own wild berries over homemade Irish lady's fingers, topped with whipped cream, and to top it off, coffee and brandy. Yes, I was in hog heaven.
Lawrence and I walked off lunch a bit while the ladies cleaned up. We had O'Hare along with us because he was convinced my white-haired friend was really Santa Claus on holiday. Oi! As we came back we stopped to chat and I noticed Mam in my hammock and Guido acting persistent about something.
"Whatcha doin'?" Guido asked me, Mam.
"Readin' a boook why?"
"Wotz a boook?" He asked looking perplexed and scratching his head.
"Dis," she said holding it up for him to see. "Doncha read boooks?"
"Nope, I read dis," he said holding up his iPad.
She looked as the words went scurrying across the screen and a voice read them out and went to the next "page" where the same thing happened, screen page after screen page.
"Ooh," she sighed getting it.
Not to be outdone on the attention bit, O'Hare strolled up.
"What's up?" He asked her.
"Wot's the matter?" She asked back, concern taking over her features and she swung her legs from the hammock in case she was needed elsewhere.
It was his turn to look perplexed because he did not know in Ireland to ask "what's up" means "what's wrong?" Oi, oi, oi.
Before things got out of hand we walked over and I thought to take the two boyos inside and let Lawrence and Mam chat. And no, I was not matchmaking. The boyos took off without me so I pulled up a chair for Lawrence by the hammock and Mam asked me to join them, so that would end any matchmaking which never entered me mind. I got a chair and then went back to the table to get us all glasses of iced tea when up strolled me drunken neighbour, who isn't the brightest bulb in the box. I could do nothing as he took it upon himself to join us before I could invite him. He had got a chair and raked it over the lawn to where Mam and Lawrence were chatting nicely. The chat suddenly turned from low-key to the loud voice of the uninvited butting in. I could hear the chat from where I was and it went something like this:
"So, YOU are Irish are you, where in England are you from exactly?" My neighbour more like confronted me Mam with THAT question.
Mam sat there blinking. Speech was incapable at this point as she was pretty insulted I would guess by the look on her face.
"I believe you mean where in Ireland is she from?" Lawrence said with a good-natured tone to not humiliate a man who was so good at doing that all on his own.
"OH! Is it Ireland?" Dumbarse asked surprised. "I didn't know being Irish meant you were from Ireland I thought it meant England."
Oh my God! I handed out the iced teas and sat down struggling with how to get rid of him posthaste. I was also thinking if a lesson on Northern Ireland, Ireland, and Great Britain were worth a try, but decided not to attempt to educate a fool.
"Someone told me Piers Morgan is Irish is that so?" He asked just to say something. "You must be missing him over there."
"Ooh no, we don't want him back, you can keep him," she said looking like she was deep in thought but was probably thinking the same thing I was.
"Oh, but I thought he was going back there." He said looking at his tea. He suddenly turned to me and asked if I could put some rum in his drink. I declined by saying I had no alcohol of any kind in me house. Ok, I lied, but really?
"You don't want him back? How are you going to keep him out?" The foolish twit asked her.
"Well, we do have RAF to shoot him out of the sky should he attempt a return. Wot else are they good fer?" She said looking down at her shoes sheepishly.
"Oh, I thought . . . well you could close the borders?" He suggested scuffing his soles in the dirt, kicking it up enough Lawrence reached down to brush the dust off his creamy trouser leg.
"We tried dat wit barricades and sooch but he still manages to make it in," she said starting to squirm.
I sat there doing all I could not to burst out laughing.
"I suppose you can stop boats and planes coming in and make sure he doesn't set foot on the old sod."
I was so near to interjecting that we weren't really having this conversation when Lawrence piped up.
"Maybe the penal colony will take 'em." He surmised.
"Penal colony?" Stupid asked all interested, looking Lawrence up and down to size him up.
"Ay, wot be it called . . . oh yah, Australia." My Mam interjected with a bright smile at Lawrence.
"OH!" Stupid said stunned.
"I suppose . . . " Lawrence mused to me Mam, feeling Stupid didn't like the idea, "Maybe the decent thing to do would be to give him to Canada."
"Oh they'd trade you for Bieber and then what? I don't know which is worse." She answered shaking her head as Stupid looked from one to the other.
"Well, they are the same kind of troublemaker so . . . Piers should be shipped to Canada I say. But as you say they might send us Bieber so maybe we should drop Piers in North Korea."
Stupid looked at Lawrence to see if he was serious, Lawrence trying not to chuckle.
"Well like I say," Mam interjected all serious, "send Piers beyond the Wall." And she nodded as Lawrence nodded back knowing full well what she meant.
Oh, these two could be dangerous together, I thought. It wasn't much later that Stupid left being none the wiser about who Jon Snow was or where exactly the Wall was located. China he thought, but wasn't sure. He was not getting any alcohol or any gossip, nor any wiser so off he went. I can't say we were sad to see him go, but I think he helped forge a new friendship between two very nice souls.
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Today takes the cake and beats all. Because the day is nice here we decided to have an early lunch outside. I never thought we'd have a short invasion of sorts, but we did. I never thought my nicely planned lunch would go awry but something nice did come out of it.
We have this old glass top table and Tonya and me Mam set it all up nice with home-brewed iced tea with fresh mint from our garden, lovely old plates me Mam brought over from Ireland (Belleek) and crisp lavender napkins she made into what looked like tulips.
Now, invited for lunch was an old friend of mine who lives in Harrisville, N.H. a very picturesque spot. He and I worked together when I first came to work in Boston and so our relationship has lasted. He's an older gent (me Mam's age - and no don't get the matchmaking thing going) and I thought she'd like to have a conversation (for a change) with someone closer in age than me three boyos, and Tonya and meself.
She was all fine about this, and like you, she didn't want any "o' dat matchmakin' goin' on." My friend Lawrence arrived and he was dressed in all creamy white. He had on a fine pair of trousers that matched the vest (with gold chain and watch) against the white and narrow blue pinstripes in his shirt, rolled up mid-forearm. To top it off he had a straw Panama hat that made him look (as Tonya said) like Big Daddy. His ruddy face was filled with smiles, his blue eyes twinkled and retirement had done him a good turn. He is a very happy man in that he now has the time to write that great American novel he's talked about for so long.
Mam went all shy at such a "distinguished gentleman" but he soon pulled her out of her shell, thanks in part to our uninvited guest.
We had a fabulous lunch of young cress topping Angus burgers with a white mushroom sauce, homemade crisps, a Greek salad (to die for), and for dessert an assortment of our own wild berries over homemade Irish lady's fingers, topped with whipped cream, and to top it off, coffee and brandy. Yes, I was in hog heaven.
Lawrence and I walked off lunch a bit while the ladies cleaned up. We had O'Hare along with us because he was convinced my white-haired friend was really Santa Claus on holiday. Oi! As we came back we stopped to chat and I noticed Mam in my hammock and Guido acting persistent about something.
"Whatcha doin'?" Guido asked me, Mam.
"Readin' a boook why?"
"Wotz a boook?" He asked looking perplexed and scratching his head.
"Dis," she said holding it up for him to see. "Doncha read boooks?"
"Nope, I read dis," he said holding up his iPad.
She looked as the words went scurrying across the screen and a voice read them out and went to the next "page" where the same thing happened, screen page after screen page.
"Ooh," she sighed getting it.
Not to be outdone on the attention bit, O'Hare strolled up.
"What's up?" He asked her.
"Wot's the matter?" She asked back, concern taking over her features and she swung her legs from the hammock in case she was needed elsewhere.
It was his turn to look perplexed because he did not know in Ireland to ask "what's up" means "what's wrong?" Oi, oi, oi.
Before things got out of hand we walked over and I thought to take the two boyos inside and let Lawrence and Mam chat. And no, I was not matchmaking. The boyos took off without me so I pulled up a chair for Lawrence by the hammock and Mam asked me to join them, so that would end any matchmaking which never entered me mind. I got a chair and then went back to the table to get us all glasses of iced tea when up strolled me drunken neighbour, who isn't the brightest bulb in the box. I could do nothing as he took it upon himself to join us before I could invite him. He had got a chair and raked it over the lawn to where Mam and Lawrence were chatting nicely. The chat suddenly turned from low-key to the loud voice of the uninvited butting in. I could hear the chat from where I was and it went something like this:
"So, YOU are Irish are you, where in England are you from exactly?" My neighbour more like confronted me Mam with THAT question.
Mam sat there blinking. Speech was incapable at this point as she was pretty insulted I would guess by the look on her face.
"I believe you mean where in Ireland is she from?" Lawrence said with a good-natured tone to not humiliate a man who was so good at doing that all on his own.
"OH! Is it Ireland?" Dumbarse asked surprised. "I didn't know being Irish meant you were from Ireland I thought it meant England."
Oh my God! I handed out the iced teas and sat down struggling with how to get rid of him posthaste. I was also thinking if a lesson on Northern Ireland, Ireland, and Great Britain were worth a try, but decided not to attempt to educate a fool.
"Someone told me Piers Morgan is Irish is that so?" He asked just to say something. "You must be missing him over there."
"Ooh no, we don't want him back, you can keep him," she said looking like she was deep in thought but was probably thinking the same thing I was.
"Oh, but I thought he was going back there." He said looking at his tea. He suddenly turned to me and asked if I could put some rum in his drink. I declined by saying I had no alcohol of any kind in me house. Ok, I lied, but really?
"You don't want him back? How are you going to keep him out?" The foolish twit asked her.
"Well, we do have RAF to shoot him out of the sky should he attempt a return. Wot else are they good fer?" She said looking down at her shoes sheepishly.
"Oh, I thought . . . well you could close the borders?" He suggested scuffing his soles in the dirt, kicking it up enough Lawrence reached down to brush the dust off his creamy trouser leg.
"We tried dat wit barricades and sooch but he still manages to make it in," she said starting to squirm.
I sat there doing all I could not to burst out laughing.
"I suppose you can stop boats and planes coming in and make sure he doesn't set foot on the old sod."
I was so near to interjecting that we weren't really having this conversation when Lawrence piped up.
"Maybe the penal colony will take 'em." He surmised.
"Penal colony?" Stupid asked all interested, looking Lawrence up and down to size him up.
"Ay, wot be it called . . . oh yah, Australia." My Mam interjected with a bright smile at Lawrence.
"OH!" Stupid said stunned.
"I suppose . . . " Lawrence mused to me Mam, feeling Stupid didn't like the idea, "Maybe the decent thing to do would be to give him to Canada."
"Oh they'd trade you for Bieber and then what? I don't know which is worse." She answered shaking her head as Stupid looked from one to the other.
"Well, they are the same kind of troublemaker so . . . Piers should be shipped to Canada I say. But as you say they might send us Bieber so maybe we should drop Piers in North Korea."
Stupid looked at Lawrence to see if he was serious, Lawrence trying not to chuckle.
"Well like I say," Mam interjected all serious, "send Piers beyond the Wall." And she nodded as Lawrence nodded back knowing full well what she meant.
Oh, these two could be dangerous together, I thought. It wasn't much later that Stupid left being none the wiser about who Jon Snow was or where exactly the Wall was located. China he thought, but wasn't sure. He was not getting any alcohol or any gossip, nor any wiser so off he went. I can't say we were sad to see him go, but I think he helped forge a new friendship between two very nice souls.
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
8 comments:
you were matchmaking! you made lunch outside sound very elegant but the best was the conversation, two oldsters who are with it. did you know they look at game of thrones?
and they know who justin bieber is! lmao
Bright? More like brain dead! He kinda sounds like someone we both know.lLMAO I won't SAY matchmaker but you already know what I'm thinking!
WAS NOT! As to G of T -- I am now! LOL
I didn't I really, really wasn't trying to matchmake. I swear! LOL
Since I can't see your face to prove you're lying THIS time I'll give you the benefit of the doubt!
Aw. Even if you weren't matchmaking something tells me Lawrence will be back. ;-)
Oh God.
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