01 August 2015
782
R. Linda:
Happy day for me, Tony is flying into Newark Airport from his sojourn in Japan and guess who else is flying there? Yes, the Dragon Lady! I be so pleased I cannot verbalise it. FINALLY! The only problem is we are flying into Newark too, because of the upcoming wedding. But the good news will be (hopefully) that we are flying out afterwards without the Dragon.
I am optimistic here R. Linda, or at least trying to think positively and envision only us flying home. I have me fingers, legs, toes and even me eyes crossed that this will be the case. The only negative I have run up against is my grey-haired, apple-cheeked wee mam not wanting to be on a plane while Poldark is on. She just can't miss an episode, though I have reassured her it be on during the week, OR we could tape it. She said she wants to see it while it is "fresh," whatever that means.
Speaking of me mam, I have this nagging idea in my head to leave her in Jersey, accidentally on purpose. She is driving me up a pole she is.
I get conversations first thing in the morning like this:
Dragon (the mother of 6) asked me Mam: "Were you planning on just two children?"
Me Mam (giving her answer some bit of thought): "Uh . . . we wanted one we did, but then along came sonny boy here."
Dragon (under her breath but loud enough for me to hear): "Oh he was a mistake, I thought so."
Me Mam (thinking fast because I was standing there): "Nooo he was an accident."
Like that made it better, I tell ya!
Me (reacting): "I be having a little bother at that."
Dragon (with a smile on her face she couldn't hide): "You look tense, Gabriel."
Me: "Do I? Right.
Me Mam: "You have da look of a man who needs a good cuppa tea!"
Me: "That was bloody awful, am I right?" I asked Tonya who came in with a boyo under her arm.
Tonya: "What?"
Me Mam: "Oooh nutin' Gabriel be over reactin' to a bit of gab me an yer mam be havin' that be all. Here be yer tae (tea) Gabe."
And she sets this soup bowl with a handle in front of me as if that will soothe my feelings.
Then, like this conversation had never taken place she says to me, "Did ye make yer bed befur ye came ta da breakfast table?"
What am I 10? I looked up at her with a sip of the hot tea in me gob and shook me head at her.
"Well, I brought ya oop well and good, so when yer finished yer breakie, you go in dere and first make yer bed an den brush yer teeth."
I wasn't shaking my head no, I was shaking me head like I didn't know about her, and she should stop now, but that was ignored.
I tell ya!
At the end of breakfast, and just to be a prat, I stood up and announced I was on me way to make my bed and brush me teeth.
"See I raised him good." The old woman declared.
I'd like to say this went on when we all first started living together and tapered off, but that isn't true, it goes on constantly.
"Gabriel, did ya wipe yer big feet befur ya came in? Gabriel, don't forgit a jumper you'll catch a chill out dere. Gabriel, how many times do I have to tell ya no elbows on da table. Gabriel set yer napkin on yer lap where it belongs, da table don't care if it has crumbs on it. Gabriel, take out da trash bin, overflow be not a science experiment. Gabriel, close da door behind yersel, ye don't live in a barn. Gabriel, go back and run a coomb through that hair ya look a fright. Gabriel, pick oop yer socks, do ya tink dey pick demselves oop? Gabriel, dats enuff cobler, ye'll give yersel worms! Gabriel, eat yer Brussels sprouts dey be good fer da blood. Gabriel, I did not ask who poot it dere, I asked you to pick it up!" And the list goes on.
Even Tonya isn't immune because her mother also harps on her, mainly on how she disciplines or doesn't our children. While we have one mother temporarily, we have the other permanently. So the bet between Ton and meself be no bet really, we know I will be in the looney bin first. There ya go!
Gabe
Copyright © 2015 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Happy day for me, Tony is flying into Newark Airport from his sojourn in Japan and guess who else is flying there? Yes, the Dragon Lady! I be so pleased I cannot verbalise it. FINALLY! The only problem is we are flying into Newark too, because of the upcoming wedding. But the good news will be (hopefully) that we are flying out afterwards without the Dragon.
I am optimistic here R. Linda, or at least trying to think positively and envision only us flying home. I have me fingers, legs, toes and even me eyes crossed that this will be the case. The only negative I have run up against is my grey-haired, apple-cheeked wee mam not wanting to be on a plane while Poldark is on. She just can't miss an episode, though I have reassured her it be on during the week, OR we could tape it. She said she wants to see it while it is "fresh," whatever that means.
Speaking of me mam, I have this nagging idea in my head to leave her in Jersey, accidentally on purpose. She is driving me up a pole she is.
I get conversations first thing in the morning like this:
Dragon (the mother of 6) asked me Mam: "Were you planning on just two children?"
Me Mam (giving her answer some bit of thought): "Uh . . . we wanted one we did, but then along came sonny boy here."
Dragon (under her breath but loud enough for me to hear): "Oh he was a mistake, I thought so."
Me Mam (thinking fast because I was standing there): "Nooo he was an accident."
Like that made it better, I tell ya!
Me (reacting): "I be having a little bother at that."
Dragon (with a smile on her face she couldn't hide): "You look tense, Gabriel."
Me: "Do I? Right.
Me Mam: "You have da look of a man who needs a good cuppa tea!"
Me: "That was bloody awful, am I right?" I asked Tonya who came in with a boyo under her arm.
Tonya: "What?"
Me Mam: "Oooh nutin' Gabriel be over reactin' to a bit of gab me an yer mam be havin' that be all. Here be yer tae (tea) Gabe."
And she sets this soup bowl with a handle in front of me as if that will soothe my feelings.
 |
| It is the one in front -- this to placate me feelings, uh huh. |
Then, like this conversation had never taken place she says to me, "Did ye make yer bed befur ye came ta da breakfast table?"
What am I 10? I looked up at her with a sip of the hot tea in me gob and shook me head at her.
"Well, I brought ya oop well and good, so when yer finished yer breakie, you go in dere and first make yer bed an den brush yer teeth."
I wasn't shaking my head no, I was shaking me head like I didn't know about her, and she should stop now, but that was ignored.
Okay, so my wife who was usually in a daze until her tenth cup of coffee in the morning was silently laughing at me. Dragon was looking at me amused as well, and the old woman (which is what I refer to as the spouter of such juvenile nonsense) was bustling along with making rashers and eggs with her back to me.
Just so you know, I don't get coffee first thing like I be used to. I get TEA because I am reminded on a constant basis, that I be IRISH and was never served the darker liquid and it isn't as good for my "system" as Irish breakfast tea. I steal cups of coffee when she isn't looking, how sad is that?
I tell ya!
At the end of breakfast, and just to be a prat, I stood up and announced I was on me way to make my bed and brush me teeth.
"See I raised him good." The old woman declared.
I'd like to say this went on when we all first started living together and tapered off, but that isn't true, it goes on constantly.
"Gabriel, did ya wipe yer big feet befur ya came in? Gabriel, don't forgit a jumper you'll catch a chill out dere. Gabriel, how many times do I have to tell ya no elbows on da table. Gabriel set yer napkin on yer lap where it belongs, da table don't care if it has crumbs on it. Gabriel, take out da trash bin, overflow be not a science experiment. Gabriel, close da door behind yersel, ye don't live in a barn. Gabriel, go back and run a coomb through that hair ya look a fright. Gabriel, pick oop yer socks, do ya tink dey pick demselves oop? Gabriel, dats enuff cobler, ye'll give yersel worms! Gabriel, eat yer Brussels sprouts dey be good fer da blood. Gabriel, I did not ask who poot it dere, I asked you to pick it up!" And the list goes on.
Even Tonya isn't immune because her mother also harps on her, mainly on how she disciplines or doesn't our children. While we have one mother temporarily, we have the other permanently. So the bet between Ton and meself be no bet really, we know I will be in the looney bin first. There ya go!
Gabe
Copyright © 2015 All rights reserved
11 comments:
LMAO I haven't heard that kind of mom crap since I was ten! As for Dragon, she really REALLY doesn't like you. Or maybe she does and is hiding it well. LOL is there such a thing as double matricide?
Sure feels that way
A nice cup of Barry's is it? I get Tetley British Blend! LOL
Oh nooo we go totally Irish or not at all -- OUR brand is Bewleys all the way and every day. Sigh.
You TOLD me to drink Bewleys . You DIDN'T TELL me how strong,!
maybe the wedding will be fun? lots of people to get lost in? good luck.
Is this a complaint? Brew light for upset tum. Brew to dark to your taste.
Well I don't know how growing up in your house was, but in mine, anything that went wrong the remedy always was "Put the kettle on for a cup of tea!" LOL"
Same here. If one was under the weather it was here dear have a nice cuppa tea. If one was upset it was, you look tense, here now, have a cuppa tea, that will do the trick. Remedy for everything mother related. Now with da it was, go on down to the local and have some of what's good for ya!
LOL yes! Came out so dark I thought it was coffee. Didn't want sleep anyway.LOL
LOL yes, pubs were always the second remedy if the tea failed for the males in the house which weren't many after a time. Though I do have to say a cup of tea always did help, not sure if it was the tea or the sentiment behind it. Probably a bit of both!
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