26 February 2016
800
R. Linda:
Last weekend me Mam thought it would be nice to visit a new business a friend of Tonya's set up. Now Tonya never suggested this, but for some reason, me Mam thought it a great idea to help the business along and at the same time score Ton some brownie points for being a good friend. She was hot to trot on this, and I can only think because the snow was melting, it was 50 degrees outside and she was feeling a need to get out and away from the Dragon (who was making Mam into her own personal nursemaid).
So seeing the problem I agreed to go. I thought that opening an antique shop was a strange venture since New Hampshire is an antique collector's dream. You could take a month and it would not be enough to visit every antique shop in the State. There is even a map called the Antique Trail, that one can follow all over the State if one is so inclined.
I took Mam to the newly opened shop and as we walked in, there were cafe tables and a coffee maker with different kinds of coffee available. I suppose this is for the weary collector who needs a jolt of joe to wire his or her shopping experience up. I wanted to wait there and drink meself into oblivion but me old wan wouldn't hear of it.
We went to the book section first and meandered through all the mouldy and ancient tomes covered in dust. Most were books on art collections, or porcelains, state papers, and stuff I have no interest in, but every so often Mam would shout at me, "Oh luuk Gabriel, here be a buuk on Catlick chorches!" OH BOY just want I'd want to read.
Another section over and I found meself in the "old treasures" section which was really the junk section, and from behind the wall of books I heard, "OOOH luuk Gabriel, here be a buuk on Nort Iron!" Yeah well, being from there I didn't need to read about that either.
Further into the junk section, I was intrigued by the selection of old riding boots. Who in their right mind would want some raggedy and muddy riding boots that were also bent at places that would take the skin off one's shins should they try to walk in them?
I was blasted out of that perplexity of thought by, "OOOH GABRIEL, ye should see dis here buuk, it be all about da twelt apostles and da las sooper."
Yee-ah. Time to get her out of the book section at which she was sneezing her fool head off from picking up the dusty volumes.
But she wasn't parting with a paperback book entitled HOW TO FIRE A CANON. I did not ask.
We made it around the entire store in an hour and 15. The only thing we had to show for it was the crazy paperback book. Mam had already announced who we were when we came into the owner at the cash register, vowing to do him proud with a few "porchesess". So when we walked up to the register, Mam made another announcement, "I con't say I will win da prize fer mose expensive porchess of da day!" Oh ha ha Mam.
I didn't know how bad it was until the man at the cash register said, "That will be one dollar."
OMG OMG OMG!!!
Could she not have found the cheapest book in the store? I tell ya. But that wasn't the worst of it.
"Do ye want dat in change?" She grins.
I wanted to crawl out the door but the good-natured owner said, he preferred a bill but if she wanted to count her pennies, that was good too. Oi!
She slapped a dollar bill on the counter with a huge smile and he laughed. I wasn't laughing.
"Do you want a receipt?" Asked he only making it worse.
"Why fer sure," she had the nerve to answer. I could stand it no more and started to walk out like I wasn't with her, but no she called me back to carry her "porches" which embarrassed me to the core because I had bought nothing.
At dinner that night she regaled Tonya on how she did her friend a good turn and even bought a book. Tonya was all polite and somewhat charmed. I was shaking my head at her not to be so charmed, but like Lady Edith of Downton Abbey Mam went on a glowing tribute to herself but all was squashed when our resident Lady Mary (Dragon) piped up and said to Tonya, "Before you get all carried away Dear, know she did spend over an hour in your friends shop and she did buy herself a book. Yes, a lovely book on firing canons and the best part is, it only cost a dollar."
Smiling smugly the Dragon went back to her meal while Mam looked with chagrin at her.
"Oh, that was so good of you," Tonya addressed Mam, "I wouldn't have bought anything. We don't have that kind of house anymore. Antiques would look so out of place here. And what an interesting subject canons. There is that old makeshift canon the boys have, you know the one Mum, it faces the guest room? I wonder if your book would tell you how to fix it to really work."
No one said a word, that was that -- Lady Grantham had spoken and we got the gist of it. Yes, Dragon has ensconced herself in the guest room where the so-called canon faces it on the other side of the wall.
I did notice a sneer cross Mam's face as she looked at a rather surprised Dragon and muttered, "I wonder . . ." Oh ladies, ladies, ladies!
Gabe
Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Last weekend me Mam thought it would be nice to visit a new business a friend of Tonya's set up. Now Tonya never suggested this, but for some reason, me Mam thought it a great idea to help the business along and at the same time score Ton some brownie points for being a good friend. She was hot to trot on this, and I can only think because the snow was melting, it was 50 degrees outside and she was feeling a need to get out and away from the Dragon (who was making Mam into her own personal nursemaid).
So seeing the problem I agreed to go. I thought that opening an antique shop was a strange venture since New Hampshire is an antique collector's dream. You could take a month and it would not be enough to visit every antique shop in the State. There is even a map called the Antique Trail, that one can follow all over the State if one is so inclined.
I took Mam to the newly opened shop and as we walked in, there were cafe tables and a coffee maker with different kinds of coffee available. I suppose this is for the weary collector who needs a jolt of joe to wire his or her shopping experience up. I wanted to wait there and drink meself into oblivion but me old wan wouldn't hear of it.
We went to the book section first and meandered through all the mouldy and ancient tomes covered in dust. Most were books on art collections, or porcelains, state papers, and stuff I have no interest in, but every so often Mam would shout at me, "Oh luuk Gabriel, here be a buuk on Catlick chorches!" OH BOY just want I'd want to read.
Another section over and I found meself in the "old treasures" section which was really the junk section, and from behind the wall of books I heard, "OOOH luuk Gabriel, here be a buuk on Nort Iron!" Yeah well, being from there I didn't need to read about that either.
Further into the junk section, I was intrigued by the selection of old riding boots. Who in their right mind would want some raggedy and muddy riding boots that were also bent at places that would take the skin off one's shins should they try to walk in them?
I was blasted out of that perplexity of thought by, "OOOH GABRIEL, ye should see dis here buuk, it be all about da twelt apostles and da las sooper."
Yee-ah. Time to get her out of the book section at which she was sneezing her fool head off from picking up the dusty volumes.
But she wasn't parting with a paperback book entitled HOW TO FIRE A CANON. I did not ask.
We made it around the entire store in an hour and 15. The only thing we had to show for it was the crazy paperback book. Mam had already announced who we were when we came into the owner at the cash register, vowing to do him proud with a few "porchesess". So when we walked up to the register, Mam made another announcement, "I con't say I will win da prize fer mose expensive porchess of da day!" Oh ha ha Mam.
I didn't know how bad it was until the man at the cash register said, "That will be one dollar."
OMG OMG OMG!!!
Could she not have found the cheapest book in the store? I tell ya. But that wasn't the worst of it.
"Do ye want dat in change?" She grins.
I wanted to crawl out the door but the good-natured owner said, he preferred a bill but if she wanted to count her pennies, that was good too. Oi!
She slapped a dollar bill on the counter with a huge smile and he laughed. I wasn't laughing.
"Do you want a receipt?" Asked he only making it worse.
"Why fer sure," she had the nerve to answer. I could stand it no more and started to walk out like I wasn't with her, but no she called me back to carry her "porches" which embarrassed me to the core because I had bought nothing.
At dinner that night she regaled Tonya on how she did her friend a good turn and even bought a book. Tonya was all polite and somewhat charmed. I was shaking my head at her not to be so charmed, but like Lady Edith of Downton Abbey Mam went on a glowing tribute to herself but all was squashed when our resident Lady Mary (Dragon) piped up and said to Tonya, "Before you get all carried away Dear, know she did spend over an hour in your friends shop and she did buy herself a book. Yes, a lovely book on firing canons and the best part is, it only cost a dollar."
Smiling smugly the Dragon went back to her meal while Mam looked with chagrin at her.
"Oh, that was so good of you," Tonya addressed Mam, "I wouldn't have bought anything. We don't have that kind of house anymore. Antiques would look so out of place here. And what an interesting subject canons. There is that old makeshift canon the boys have, you know the one Mum, it faces the guest room? I wonder if your book would tell you how to fix it to really work."
No one said a word, that was that -- Lady Grantham had spoken and we got the gist of it. Yes, Dragon has ensconced herself in the guest room where the so-called canon faces it on the other side of the wall.
I did notice a sneer cross Mam's face as she looked at a rather surprised Dragon and muttered, "I wonder . . ." Oh ladies, ladies, ladies!
Gabe
Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved
7 comments:
oh my gosh a whole dollar! lmao
Are you sure your Mammy isn't a Scot? I have heard of frugal shopping but this was ridiculous. But you got to love her fortitude to do a good deed. LOL, outweighs everything else.
Very sure. Her heart was in the right place, but her pocketbook was at home LOL.
Your Mam is so cute :-)
I love antique stores, dust and all. I like finding old strange furniture pieces.
You and she would get on a treat - you both like dusty old things but not dusty old men. Yup.
Been there, done that, rather find furniture! LMAO
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